Cristin is a twenty-something American refugee in London, who is dealing with her quarter-life crisis through avoidance, cookies, a serious television addiction, and delusions of literary grandeur. She works in the theatre and writes books, and she almost kind of even likes it most of the time.

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Okay, still haven't managed to really get back to writing, but life is sloooowly starting to normalize a bit. I had my first post-move nervous breakdown yesterday and am both surprised and a little encouraged that it took so long to happen. Then I went and bought a car, which was exciting but kind of made me want to throw up as well.

On the writing front. A couple of weeks ago, I contacted Secret Agent, whom some of you have heard tell about. She had the manuscript for Doomed First Novel for several months, and I wrote to her to say I was pretty sure it was, in fact, Doomed but I just wanted to check, you know, in case. She very gently broke to me the fact that I was right and gave me some hugely helpful feedback about what she thought went wrong with it. Most of it was stuff I suspected - and wow, is it nice to know that my instincts are not that far off - and the rest all made sense to me once I'd heard (er, seen) her say it.

This? Exactly why you really should start writing a new novel before you begin querying. I always thought that piece of advice was kind of irritating, but wow is it wise. The fact that I've started another book has given me better perspective on the first one and given me much more emotional distance from it. I was able to take with great equanimity news that might have taken my knees out six months ago. Instead, I figured it out for myself, shrugged, and moved on.

What struck me as the most interesting was that Secret Agent said the main problems with the novel surprised her, because they weren't mistakes I'd made in the short stories (okay! fan fiction) that first brought me to her attention. I get this. Obviously I never needed to establish character in my fan fiction, just accurately portray what already existed, so I think in my desire to make my characters come alive for my readers in the way they were alive for me, I went a little overboard.

And my writing style is very different. I knew this already but hearing Secret Agent say it made me think about it more deeply. My fan fiction was written, generally, in quite a spare way. And I worked to achieve that style; I used to actively challenge myself to use as few words as possible to get across an idea until it became a more natural way for me to write.

I let that go completely with the novel, and I think it was to the detriment of my writing. I don't know if it was the word count thing, knowing I had to make the story 60K instead of being able to call it finished at 600 words or 2,000 words or whatever, or if it was again that desire to make sure that things were clear and full or whatever, but it's something I need to figure out.

It may also just be laziness. It's hard to commit to honing every single sentence when your story contains bazillions of them. I could hone like a mother in a short story, but the idea of committing to the same level of scrutiny for a whole novel is a little overwhelming. How does one do that without burning out or going crazy?

Obviously it's what must be done, though, which means I've got to stop being in such a damn hurry all the time. There's some internal clock in me just ticking away, but it's not rational or helpful, so I need to learn to turn it off so I can dig in and get the work done without worrying all the time about how long it's going to take. What's the point in that?

I'm encouraged by the fact that the set-up of my current WIP should (hopefully!) help me avoid making these mistakes again. The fact that it's in first-person present (instead of the roving third of Doomed First Novel) should help me avoid over-describing. And already the prose is leaner, because the story lends itself to that and that's how I've always heard the book in my head. Now that I'm more aware of these problems, the book should only get better as I focus on these issues in subsequent drafts and edits.

So, if you're reading this, Secret Agent, thank you so much! Really, this novel is going to be a hundred times better for her input. You should all get one just like her.

I'm having trouble getting back into the writing groove, you guys. Partially it's being at my mom's house where there are more distractions and very many more household pets, but partially I think it's just being out of practice.

My friend Carly is a professional French horn player, and she practices for several hours every day. She rarely takes any time off, because she says for each day she skips practicing she loses three days. Not only has she not improved, but the muscles in her embouchure (the part of your lips that meet the mouthpiece and do all the work) weaken and need to be rebuilt to their previous level.

I'm starting to think it's the same way with writing. For every day I take off, as much as it's necessary sometimes, it's that much harder to pick up again the next day. And having taken, like, ten or eleven days off? I'm finding it hard to get back onto the horse.

Yesterday I set aside some time to go to the library and do my wordcount, but of course it was closed and Mom's house is kind of impossible, but rather than finding a solution I just let it go and watched a thousand shows about wedding cakes instead. Today I've done 145 words (which is about, uh, %15 of my daily goal) and I already feel a little like giving up.

So do I just bite the bullet and make myself finish my 1,000 words? Do I work my way back up to 1K?

How do you guys get back into writing after taking a break?

Knowing you're going to be forced out of the country you live in and the life you've spent years building is a bit like having the blade of a guillotine hanging over your head. It basically sucks. And you really hope the anticipation is the worst part.

But then the fucker drops. Yay, anticipation over! Except now your freakin' head is gone, damnit.

I had a fantastic last night in London, which made it all the harder to leave, but so far I'm coping. Maybe that's because it still feels like I'm just home for a visit, but I'm hopeful this move won't cut my legs out from under me as badly as it did the last time.

My plan is to start working on my draft again tomorrow (I've taken over a week off, but it feels like waaaay longer, maybe writers' days are like dog days?) and to start, like, engaging with the world again. So hopefully my hiatus is over. I know I didn't respond to any of your comments last week, but I did read them and I really appreciated them, so thanks for that, guys.

So please please catch me up on anything and everything I've missed. Point me towards posts, update me on your NaNo progress, anything.

Also, my intrepid mother has somehow discovered this LJ, so better watch your language (not that I have). Hi Mom!

So, I've been missing from the internet for many days and imagine I will be for quite a few more. But I'm cognizant of the fact that I owe people comments, RTs and posts, and I don't want you guys to feel like I'm ignoring you even though, really, I totally am.

It's just that all of a sudden I've lost the degree of zen about this move and it's associated baggage, both literal and figurative, that I once had, and so now I'm wigging out a little (and by 'a little' I mean please someone get me some more Xanax stat).

My novel, blog, everything has been put on hold for a bit while I try to concentrate on more fundamental things like breathing. But I'm sure I'll be back to boring you soon.

Serious Writing Post™ to come but first, universe, we need to have a talk about Halloween.

The slutty outfits have got to stop!

I've seen slutty nurse, slutty scientist, slutty witch, slutty secretary, slutty environmentalist (?), slutty illegal alien (seriously), more slutty cats than you can shake a stick at, but THIS? Is the final straw.

Oh yes, you're seeing this right. It's a SLUTTY RAINBOW BRITE, Y'ALL.

I don't think I want to live in a world where you can buy a mass-produced slutty Rainbow Brite costume for Halloween without the universe smacking you down with a bolt of lightning for the offense.

Of course, my childhood was already ruined by them reimagining sweet little Rainbow as a sexy, pre-teen size 2. I mean, I gritted my teeth and bore it when they revamped Strawberry Shortcake - 'cause let's face it, Strawberry was a little rough around the edges and I never cared that much about her anyway - but Rainbow Brite?? Kick-ass and apple-cheeked defender of the universe, battler of Seasonal Affective Disorder, and champion of all that's good and colorful and happy in the world?

THIS WILL NOT STAND. FELLOW CHILDREN OF THE 80s, LET'S REVOLT.

Hallmark should be made to rue the day.


Whew, okay, trying to breathe. I think there's only one thing that can make us all feel better about this whole Halloween business, and clearly it's Tim Curry in the best made-for-TV movie music video ever. Has anybody seen his tambourine??

Scrivener, which I've been using for this draft and have absolutely fallen in love with, has got some great offers for NaNoWriMo participants. You can use the software for free until December 7th, get a twenty percent discount for participating in NaNo and a FIFTY percent discount if you win. I'd seriously encourage you all to take advantage of this.

The first six chapters of The Maze Runner by James Dashner are now online. I've been meaning to buy this book when I get back to the States, so here's a great chance to get a feel for it first (if lime green text doesn't bother you, of course.)

And lastly there's this bit of brilliance:



How many people do you think will buy the wrong one? (I hope it's lots.)

So when I last left you, Patrick Ness and I had just discovered we were fated to be friends and he'd done a reading from Knife that finally let us all know how Todd sounds in his head. I've now had a sleep and a sandwich and am reading to continue.

( If you're writing and you end up with a book, you've done it right. )

And that was preeettty much it. OH, WAIT, EXCEPT FOR THE BEST PART. I almost forgot. Someone asked about the third book.

Ness: Yeah, I'm still working on it. When I met Cristin on the train *waves at me* I was editing chapter fourteen.

Hee, yay!

All in all, a surreal and great day, and definitely some pearls of wisdom in there worth making the trip up to Cambridge. So really all that's left to say is who still hasn't bought these books??

ETA: HAHA OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS, I'M SUCH A DORK BUT I'M TOTALLY GOING TO DIE HAPPY NOW!

As previously mentioned, I went up to Cambridge yesterday to see an interview with Patrick Ness, author of The Knife of Never Letting Go and The Ask and the Answer, which are now only second to His Dark Materials when it comes to the love I have in my heart for them. Herein lies a detailed account of practically everything the man said and the story of how we became besties.

( So, first off, I miss my train. Dun dun duuuunnnn. )

( Aaand the interview itself. )

Ugh, okay, I'm exhausted. Needless to say, though, I'm nowhere near done. I still have to report Patrick Ness on: money, writing for the popular kids, yelling at motorists, Harry Potter, the writing process, where the idea for The Knife of Never Letting Go came from, and, of course, his mid-interview shout-out to me.

Check back later!

Big, penultimate British weekend planned, folks. Tonight I'm going to see Endgame at the Duchess starring Simon McBurnie (I've not always been a fan of Complicite - oh my God their Measure for Measure I'm still scarred - but it's hard to argue the man's talent) and MARK RYLANCE, BAM. Not only is Mark my former boss and a lovely and bizarre little pixie of a man in a funny hat, but he's also one of the best actors alive. I'm really looking forward to it.

And then tomorrow I'm going to Cambridge (pretty) to see Patrick Ness (awesome) speak at the Cambridge Festival of Ideas. As I'm sure you guys have picked up, I've been fangirling Ness hard since reading his new YA series (which you should all buy and devour and adore, seriously, The Knife of Never Letting Go and The Ask and the Answer). I'm eagerly anticipating becoming a better writer just from spending an hour in his presence. Expect an exhaustive and exclamation point riddled report on Sunday.

Some things some of you might be interested in:

Live Chat at Readergirlz tonight with the Patrick Ness, author of The Knife of Never Letting Go, aka my favourite book this year and new obsession. (Oh, and also the ~*infamous*~ Cassandra Cla(i)re, which could get interesting given the internet's love/hate relationship with her). I'm going to try to stay up for this (starts at 9pm EST), but I'm seeing Ness speak in Cambridge on Saturday, so I might not make it.

The last book in the Luxe series, my not-so-guilty guilty pleasure of the summer, is now online, in its entirety, at Harper Teen. I'm holding out for my pre-ordered copy to download to my iPhone next week, but it's tempting.

Aaaand since I'm spewing links, I thought I might as well go ahead and post some more. I spend a good portion of my day sifting through writing-related links, most of which are hugely dull or repetitive, but here are some places that almost always have something useful or interesting to say:

Rachelle Gardner - I don't read or write what she represents, but nonetheless she's one of the best agent bloggers around. She tackles a wide range of topics with clarity, insight, and real generosity of spirit.

Nathan Bransford - Ditto. He's witty, funny, and provides a lot of needed transparency about the publishing process.

Janet Reid / Query Shark - Janet Reid's style is sharper and tougher than Rachelle and Nathan, but she's a great resource who tells things like they are. Query Shark is her other blog where she critiques query letters, and it's THE ABSOLUTE MUST READ for anyone who's even thinking about submitting a book to agents.

Pimp My Novel - Spawned from a guest post on Nathan Bransford's blog, Pimp My Novel is still shiny and new. And unlike most blogs, it's the ONLY PLACE to get the kind of information its owner is divulging about how books make it from the publisher to the shelf at the bookstore.

The Intern - Unfortunately the Intern's Internship at Big NYC Publisher is over, but her blog is still a treasure of information gleaned from her months on the job. Plus it's very clever and entertaining.

First Draft

31077 / 70000

Excerpt of the Day: “I’m concerned about you, Sister,” Brother Owens says, folding his hands on the desk in front of him.

There are black dots at the edges of my vision. I realize I’m about to pass out. “Why?”

I can hear his answer already. You've been talking to a boy! Immodesty is the father of immorality!

“You have always been so strong and steadfast in your faith,” the brother says," but I watched you today during prayers. It seemed like you weren't really with us."

Wait, what?

Maybe this isn’t about Jonah and the creek at all.